Monday, May 10, 2010

So many times, I thought my world was ending.

I thought I'd lost everything.
I thought I couldn't go on living anymore.
I thought "This is the worst my life will ever be."
I thought I knew what it was to lose someone you loved.
I was positive I knew what it was to be given up on.
I thought I'd experienced heart break.
But none of it compared to my best friend telling me she didn't care anymore and it was my fault.
That's when I saw my world explode.
That's when I gave up.
She was the only one who ever cared, no matter what.
The only one I trusted when they said forever and always.
The only one I could rely on for anything at any time.
And now she's gone, just like everyone else.
I've pushed her away.
A thousand promises, broken.
Everything, meaningless.
All because of these stupid moods.
And these goddamn addictions.
And these fucking illnesses.
And everything I can't control any more.

"Nothing is static. Everything is falling apart."