Do you get me?

Who am I kidding? I don't even get me. My hopes of things getting better were quickly shot down. It only got worse. I'm not good enough for this. No one's ready for me. I'm scared of myself. Leave me alone. I'm scared of the dark. I'm scared of falling. Fear is only a thing/ I'm scared of being scared. Looks like the end of the road. Let's turn around and go back. I wish we could live life backwards. Think about it. I think people think I'm stronger than I am. They've got me wrong. I'm the weakest person you'll meet. I hate you, you know. I hate how much you care about me when I don't even care about myself. This life never ceases to amaze me. Somehow everything's beautiful and ugly at the same time. A mesh of pretty nasty things. I've got a fistful of problems and I can't unwind my fingers. I'm holding on to "keep holding on". There's nothing there but I'm still standing. I need to sleep.