"Every time you look in a mirror you remember you are always one second away from crying or getting it right."

And when I can't sleep at all I think of you. Atleast then I have a reason for not being unconscious at 3AM. Not like anyone's asking. I could fill up a room with apologies and promises that someone didn't mean and no one kept. And all the "I love you's" Were just to shut me up and keep me smiling. Glad we both had the same intentions. I bet you love the way "you" changes. Never the same person in this sentence or the last. I'd drop names, but then I'd probably trip on them too. I'm one mistake away from giving up or being okay. Guess we'll figure it out then. I love you and I love you back can't fix this. If there's something that needs to be fixed. I can't figure things out. Can't put 2 and 2 together without getting 22. Or something else irrational. It's like praying to God, even though you've never ever been answered. It never works, but why not keep trying?
Sometimes just seeing you makes me sick. But not in that "God, I wish you'd go away." way. More like it's unfair that you're happy and I'm not. I have an obsession with sleep and smiles and happy hearts. All of the above have I faked. And then things go a little better and I don't really have to force it. But apparently, "it doesn't matter how you feel, life's just a ferris wheel." Fuck you for writing the truth. You're the reason I'm so scared.