No sleep for the crazies.

I'm positive that I am absolutely insane.There are voices and they talk to me. More frequently than ever before. The always want to kick me off the committee. "What fucking committee?" and then they laugh and drift away. I'm not sure what that means. They don't like me. But sometimes there's a little boy calling for help. He's screaming in French "Je désolé!" I don't know how to help him though and I don't know what he's sorry for. The other ones just laugh at him. This pained, tortured laugh. It isn't funny.
Does this sound far fetched? It's the complete truth. 100%. My mind is turning into a different world and I am stuck in it.
And on top of the schizophrenia, there's the up and downs. I don't know whatwhohowwhyorwhen they started but lately I've been all over the place. Sometimes I love everything and everyone but five minutes later I'm fileting my arms and legs. I gotta take the pills to make my brain behave. It only works a tiny bit.
Then there's the most recent development. Paranoia. I can't sleep because I'm scared of dying. I cant take a shower because I could slip and fall. Everyone I love ignores me and hates me. I'm a mistake and I can't do a thing right. I will never amount to anything. I will be nothing. Nobody.

This isn't a bad case of melodrama. This is my brain laid out and disected for your observance.
Yes, I'm terrified you'll turn on me and lock me up.
But I'm sick of keeping quiet because it's making me sick.
Physically and mentally.